Getting Help

If you are in imminent physical danger, call 9-1-1

Is Your Relationship Making You Feel Confused, Nervous, or Scared?

  • Do you feel like you have to watch what you say or do around your partner?
  • Do you eve feel afraid of your partner?
  • Do you feel your relationship is either great - lots of attention, hot pleasurable sex, very loving - or awful - fighting, even if you can’t or don’t fight back, neglect, manipulation, lies-but never just “okay?”

We’re considering a broad spectrum of partner relationships here, from hook-ups and sex buddies, to people you’re dating, to roommates, lovers, spouses, and ex’s...Has your partner ever...

  • Told you who you could see or where you could go? Or secretly followed you or tracked you by GPS?
  • Told you what to wear or what not to wear?
  • Told you how you should spend your money?
  • Gotten in the way of your medical care?
  • Threatened you physically?
  • Pushed you, hit you, or held you down?
  • Threatened to “out” you for your sexuality, gender identity, HIV status, fetishes or immigration status?
  • Forced you to have sex in unwanted ways or against your will?
  • Refused to have safe sex?
  • Disrespected your “safe words” or violated the boundaries of a “scene” in BDSM/Leather role playing?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, your partner may be abusive. All of these activities suggest an effort by one person to control another. Visit our What is Intimate Partner Violence page for more information on how Intimate Partner Violence can be manifested.

Living with intimate partner violence is not easy. It can be hard to talk to the person you love about how she or he is hurting you. You are not alone. Talk to someone who can help. No one deserves to be abused.

To reach out to someone who can help visit our Resources/Links page.

If you are in imminent physical danger, call 9-1-1

The police must treat cases of same-sex partner violence the same way that they treat heterosexual domestic violence. This means that abusive partners can be arrested. Also, survivors of same-sex partner violence in Washington D.C. can obtain a Court Order of Protection - this is a court order that forbids the abusive partner from further threatening or harming the abused partner.

Legal protections for LGBTQ survivors of IPV vary by state – call your state’s Domestic Violence Coalition to find out if you can get a protection/restraining order where you live.


You may also call one of these 24-hour telephone resources to talk through your situation and begin connecting with the resources you need:

Whitman-Walker Clinic’s LGBTQ/HIV+ Crisis Intervention Line - 202-797-4444

National Domestic Violence Hotline - 800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY: 800-787-3224

DC Rape Crisis Center - 202-333-RAPE (7273)

Trevor LGBTQ Suicide Hotline - 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386)

And while you’re here, grab a copy of our brochure with additional resources.